Hey Guys, As your birthdays approach I’ve been thinking A LOT about you and the lessons we’ve taught you. One philosophy has always stood front and center: Curtoursey is given, respect is earned. With that you have EVERY RIGHT to question authority and never ever settle or accept the “because I said so” from anyone but us. You both are such amazing humans. Your’re smart, kind, empathic, funny as hell, and innocent. That last one is a biggie and leads me to sharing some funny yet practical tips I’ve learned from some of my favorite TV shows
Letters to My Kids
The Fictional People Who Helped Me Raise My Children
These are a few lessons I hope you will carry into adulthood, taught by fictional people who quietly sat in our living room for years.
I have always had a love-hate relationship with television. I don’t have the attention span to sit and watch some new show, figure out character dynamics, or hidden plots. I just want a show or 3 that I can leave on in the background while I’m writing, that sounds like friendly conversation. That’s where shows like NCIS, Monk, Person of Interest, The Good Wife, and Madam Secretary come in.
Not because of the action scenes, mysteries, or cliffhangers—although those are fun too—but because stories have a way of sitting quietly beside us and teaching us things long before we realize we’re learning.
As a mom raising two teenagers who are slowly preparing to leave the nest, I find myself thinking less about grades and achievements (although grades are important too) and more about character.
Who will they become when no one is watching?
And oddly enough, some of those lessons came from fictional people who spent years sitting in our living rooms.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs (NCIS)
Rule 51: Sometimes you’re wrong.”
Rule 31: Always clean up your own mess.”
Rule #15: Always work as a team
Rule #28: When you need help, ask.
Rule #36: If it feels like you’re being played, you probably are.
These 5 are so important, Gibbs taught his team responsibility, loyalty, and accountability.
He carried people. Protected people. Showed up for people.
But he also taught something equally important: strength and silence are not the same thing.
To my children: Be dependable. Keep your word. Own your mistakes. But do not carry the whole world alone.
Ziva David (NCIS)
Ziva taught me that survival does not require losing your softness.
Life may ask more of you than feels fair. People may disappoint you. You may have seasons that change you forever.
Let them shape you—but never harden you.
Your past is part of your story, not your identity.
Abby Sciuto (NCIS)
Bowling nuns. Dog collars. Caf-Pow.
Abby was proof that brilliance and joy can live in the same person.
She never traded who she was for acceptance.
To Maddie and Cristian: The world will try to convince you to fit in. Please don’t.
Your weird may become your superpower.
Harold Finch (Person of Interest)
Finch built something powerful and immediately asked, “How do I use this responsibly?”
Intelligence without compassion means very little.
Build things that help people.
Use your gifts to make life softer, safer, kinder, and better.
Olivia Benson (Law & Order: SVU)
Olivia Benson taught me that empathy is strength.
Listen when someone speaks.
Protect those who cannot protect themselves.
Use your voice.
And if your gut says something feels wrong—trust it.
Adrian Monk (Monk)
Monk reminded me that our differences are not flaws.
The very thing that makes you feel different may one day become the thing that helps someone else.
Pay attention.
Notice details.
Be curious.
From Mom
Before my dad passed away, he told me he stopped drinking because he didn’t want us to remember him only as the man with a beer in his hand.
I carried that with me.
I wanted you both to know that joy exists without intoxication.
That celebration doesn’t require substances.
That water is enough.
That laughter is enough.
That family is enough.
My hope isn’t that you avoid every mistake.
I hope that you leave home with an internal compass strong enough to stand when others bend.
And if life ever gets loud, confusing, or heavy… come home.
We’ll figure it out together.
