Joint or Separate Bank Accounts? How We Make It Work
Okay, let’s get into it: Money and marriage.
Two things that don’t always play nice, right?
I’ll be honest—when Fred and I first got married, I thought we were supposed to do the “traditional” thing. One joint bank account, all the bills in one big pot, no secrets, no separate anything. That’s what married couples do… right?
But here’s what we figured out real quick:
What works for everyone else doesn’t have to work for us.
And honestly? Splitting things up a little bit works well for us.
How We Do It
Fred and I each have two accounts.
Yep. Two apiece.
We split our bills right down the middle—what’s mine is mine, what’s his is his, and we both handle our business.
Before you start picturing some cold, “roommate energy” situation—trust me, it’s not like that.
We’re still a team. We just like having our own lanes.
Fred has his accounts. I have mine. We both know where the money’s going. And we check in about it. But we also respect each other’s independence.
Why This Works for Us
Fred has always said something that stuck with me:
“You’re an adult first. An individual first. Then a wife and mother.”
And I think that’s why this money arrangement makes sense for us. We both grew up seeing marriages where one person (usually the woman) had to ask for money. Like, “Can I get $20 for groceries?” No thank you.
I need to know I can handle my own. And Fred gets that.
He wants me to have financial freedom. I want him to have it too. And we both want our partnership to feel fair.
But Don’t Get It Twisted
We don’t hide money from each other.
We talk about big purchases.
We have shared goals—vacations, retirement, big family plans—and we make decisions together.
But day-to-day? We trust each other to handle our own money like grown folks.
What Matters Most
At the end of the day, whether you have one joint account or six separate ones, the conversation is what matters.
- Can you both agree on the system?
- Does it feel fair and respectful to both of you?
- Is there trust, transparency, and room to grow?
Money is personal. Marriage is personal.
There’s no one-size-fits-all here.
Fred and I found something that works for us because we talked about it, tweaked it, and kept it honest.
And we’ll keep adjusting as life changes. That’s what marriage is—constant adjustment, sometimes over coffee, sometimes over spreadsheets.
At Dinner With the Wife, we’re all about having the conversations that make your marriage feel like a partnership, not a power struggle.
If you’re craving deeper connection (and easier conversations about the hard stuff), our Luxury Romance Reboot might be the gentle nudge you need. Think of it like your next date night in a box, but with soul.
Take a peek [here] when you’re ready. We’ve got you.
